On Powering Through, Even When You’re Falling Apart
Let’s tackle something right away, in this age of motivation mania, there’s so many of us who can recite an awesome quote on cue
Why then, do so many struggle with the follow through?
In my line of work, I come across a good amount of people that have a lot of theory memorized, sometimes it’s something they heard on a podcast or read in an article, and it’s impressive, they can spit it out on cue
How do I know it’s memorized?
Out of all the motivational theatre I’ve witnessed, there have been a handful of times that I’ve asked them to dig deeper
Explain, elaborate, “what’s a helpful example of that in practice?” I’ve asked a time or twelve
The reality of it all is that this culture of faking perfection does everyone a huge disservice.
When sh*t hit the fan with Covid19, many were left wondering just what the hell they’re going to do to get back to land in this sea of “holy crap” – several more were faced with a new reality, one that felt way too much, way too fast
A member recently sent the following;
You have a lot of great knowledge, so I wanted to get in touch. I’ve been dealing with depression for a while, so it’s been hard to get motivated and my confidence is gone. I made a huge mistake early this week and got a DUI. I know I’m facing a license suspension, so it made my depression so much worse that it’s almost paralyzed me. I’m so unsure what to do going forward. Do you have any advice on how I can get back on my feet and keep going?
First things first, if there’s anything I’ve learned from experience, it’s that when things feel like they’re going to hell, odds are you’re not exactly in the mood to count your blessings
Like some good friends of mine who work in the luxury car market, it’s a gig that’s as fun as it looks
Just about every time we speak over FaceTime they’re in a different car. Monday, Bentley, Tuesday, it’s the Aston – Saturday they’re brunching
They, like over 40+ Million Americans had what can only be described as whiplash. Over 40+ Million people, not sure if they’re going to have income or money for essentials 3 months from now, some 3 weeks from now, others unfortunately, 3 days from now
With situations such as these, there is a long list of things that aren’t going to go right, and it’s important we identify them, and accept that there’s some things we can control, and others not yet
Like Bruce Lee famously said, “Be water my friend” reality is this, life will always have problems, issues, disputes, heartbreaks, and disappointments…
Remember this ?👇
And it also amazing things, science, travel,, happiness, lust, love, and chocolate cake
Let’s Get To Work Shall We
Something a big majority of people found themselves dealing with was their depression, and the relationships in their lives.
A lack of healthy, good, close relationships in our lives is a big no no
If we have close healthy relationships in our lives, it goes a long way in combating us being and staying depressed
Question for you, Are the people you’re allowing to make up the circle of trust around you contributing to your growth, or you fall?
Note: the people you attract and the people you allow in are two different things
Our thoughts create and influence our behaviors, not the other way around. How and what we think directly impact how we behave and feel
Keep in mind, there’s an emotion, and then there’s a reaction. When we feel depressed, we are often thinking depressing thoughts. BUT unless you have one of those neuralizers from Men In Black, you can’t just stop thinking
BUT you can identify what these thoughts are when they happen. Attaching a reaction to every time you have a negative thought helps
As you have some dark thoughts throughout the day, evaluate them. Is this a thought that’s based on reality? Am I thinking about this because I don’t believe I can overcome this?
Talking to yourself (inside voices if you may) as they happen can begin helping you understand what’s unhealthy or irrational. This exercise stems from cognitive-behavioral therapy.
What Is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
A form ofpsychotherapythat treats problems and boostshappinessby modifying dysfunctional emotions, behaviors, and thoughts. CBT focuses on solutions, encouraging patients to challenge distorted cognitions and change destructive patterns of behavior.
This brings us to the next step of you leveling up, whether you’re depressed or not, some days are good and some bad.
When it’s a good day, do you notice the things that you later list in your gratitude diary? When it’s a bad day, do you notice that its an event(s) and not your whole life?
Which leads us to …
We are quick to compliment others for doing something nice (well at least some of us are) but are slow as hell to compliment ourselves
How you treat and speak to yourselves has a lot to do with where you’re at and the people that contribute to it (refer back to who and what)
How you handle stress means everything. So revisiting how you problem solve problems is of the utmost priority as of right now….
Alas, we get to my favorite word ever. WHY!?
WHAT IS YOUR WHY?!
Ask yourself the following questions.
- What makes you come alive?
- What’s something that easy to you but hard for others?
- If you were to start a new career tomorrow, where would you make the greatest impact?
- If money was no object, how would your perfect day look like? Perfect week?
So now that you’ve read this, pick an hour in the next two days, and refer back to this article and exercise that mobile empire we know as a brain
Then take half a day within a week to revisit this article again and brainstorm some more, then take an entire day to set things in motion
Pretty soon you’ll take another day,
and another day
till every week you’ve developed the habit of setting aside a day to work on you.
Remember, slow is smooth, smooth is fast.
Here’s to escaping average